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    7/29/2006

    my homework--differences between love and like...

     

    When you read a book~

    Love will interrupt you ,because you are worry about whether he has had his dinner or not;

    But like only make a little pause, you get relaxed by the tide of miss, and then, with a smile, you can back to the book again.

     

    When you discuss something~

    Love is the hope that you can always be in line with him, a careless joke will make you feel depressed and then the tears fall out from your eyes;

    But like is the dispute which adds endless fun in your conversations, never tell him that you adore him and never say “you are right!”, but actually, you did.

     

    When you are on the trip~

    Love is a telephone call when you stand beside the sea, the sound of the tide passed from your mobile to his heart;

    But like is a crowd of photos you take at the remote place, cut off all the connection after you informed him of your safety and you still don’t feel afraid.

     

    When he has to leave for days~

    Like is waiting in silence, hoping that he can come back early and safely, with a bit of sadness in the secret part of your heart;

    But love is the everyday pray, is the unwillingness of leaving until he disappeared in the sight, is the full bag of luggage you packed for him with all your cares.

     

    When you get hurt~

    Like will make you pretend to be a strong girl, dry your tears and hide the pains;

    Love will let you give out all the troubles, you can cry, and then, you will get the comfort and relief without worry that he will lose his patience to you one day.

     

    When you like each other, it is always good to enjoy your dinner at KFC after a long time shopping; you can laugh at each other when you play the games or just talk rubbish in the street.

    When you love him, cooking dishes for him is much better than dining outside, when he is concentrating on his work, you still feel the happiness, if you are permitted to sit aside and look at him.

     

    When you laugh at his naughty deeds when he is a little boy, you like him;

    And if it is the love, some subtle feelings will suddenly hit your mind, you love him even more!

     

    When there is another girl in his life~

    You will get hurt but finally cure yourself;

    But in love, the pain will never disappear like a deep scar, hurt in every rainy days

     

    In the mood of like, he is a prince in your eyes;

    But in love, he becomes a child, silly but lovely, and never forgets to make mistakes

     

    I am always in hope that the one I liked could be with me;

    But to my love, I hope that I could be with him.

     

    like is like candy bar, which brings happiness to your life

    but love can be seen as a heavy bag, you take it and feel painful sometimes

    so like make you smile, but love make you cry a lot  

     

    if you like him, you will be curious about what his son looks like

    but when you in love with him, you always fall in the thought of what our son looks likeJ

     

    like is finding out good points from his deeds, so you always feel he is so nice~

    love is endurance of his weakness, you can tell yourself that no one is perfect, so is he…

     

    you ask for more from the one you like but give more to the one you love

     

    like is like ,quite simple to understandJ

    but what about love….really hard to explain…

     

    The last point~~~

    like exist from today to tomorrow

    but love……………………………………………..

    love is endless

    7/25/2006

    don’t let it go~

     

           Joon chel 在中国人再密集的地方也能被挑出来,脸孔是韩国人特有的那种平平的样式,五官没有什么立体感,小眼睛有时会挤啊挤的,然后笑起来,整个6天不到的时间,我除了和Sam在一起的时间,目光基本上不离开他,他太象CD了,望哪儿一坐,就开始装可爱,装小,装可怜,要么装成熟,装男人,其实,他什么都不是。我就是舍不得不多看他几眼,然后就莫名其妙的想笑他,他也不在乎,一起莫名其妙,很得意的耸耸肩,发出一声夸张的“哇”,继续做他的事情。

        他说女朋友在Busan National University,最长的分离不超过3天,这一次是破天荒了,5天!我说:天天见面不会觉得Boring么?怎么会?!想不通了~~我笑笑,也不想跟他解释了。

        印象最深的是闭营式上的发言,一段稿子中文翻译出来不到300字吧,他是哭着讲完的,实在说不下去了,背过去,肩膀努力的压着,转过来,还是说不下去,底下全是掌声。今年8月,他就去服2年的兵役,不知道两年后,还能不能再见到他,或者说,这一生,还能不能再见到他的眼泪了。其实在我看来,男人与男孩的区别就是在这几滴水上,他还是男孩,毋庸置疑。

     

     

            Bae Keun,没怎么和我说过化,他受了人的教唆,用谁也听不懂的中文跟中国的女孩一个一个的说:“你真漂亮!”我就没在意了;后来在大巴士上半懂不懂的打听我有没有男朋友我也没有多想;要走了,我们握手,他就抓了我的手不放开,到现在,我还能记得他的手心的触感,小孩子一样的柔软,只是又湿又凉。。。他的英文实在是不好,写给我的Email说,相信我会是一个GOOD WOMAN,我很想知道他的心里是怎么想的,只是他的眼泪一直让他不曾直视我,所以,没有机会了。

     

     

            Won sock 还是来样子,舞跳的更好了,衣服也比上一次带到中国来的那些过分很多,看来他去年是在考虑了风序良俗之后有准备的来的,一直无法说清楚,他究竟是属于胆大妄为的那一种风格,还是含蓄古典的做派,他英语也不好,我想了解的,他都说不清,他说的出的,我都已经知道了,总结出来,都是旧时情谊了,看着他的时候,我还是会觉得这是个很珍贵的缘分。

    机场送别的时候,我看着大家哭,Sam受不了看我这样,不知道什么时候躲到外面去抽烟去了,sock 倒是很大方的,讷讷的走过来,擦了我的眼泪,只是说”ohnodon’t cry!”然后,他就很自然的拥抱着我.奇怪了,27岁的男生,我没觉得有什么不好,纯粹的里愁别绪,纯粹的友谊而已,换个别人应该有暧昧的嫌疑了

     

            Young beck 去年结婚了,妻子是个略有些臃肿的其貌不扬的韩国女人,不知道他是不是足够幸福,心里一直暗暗的爱他,现在也可以彻底死心了,只是希望他可以快乐而已不提了。

     

            Byung Woo年龄大概比我们都小,有点Babyfat,黑框眼镜,一直笑笑的,对我很好。

            Dongik表扬我很Smart,偷偷的,但是很真诚的样子。

    ……

     

     

        韩国人的名字太难记了,一张张面孔却是在心里印着呢,女孩子们的妆一直都维护的很好,熬通宵也不会被发现,这让我经不住要好奇的,想看看他们素面朝天是个什么样子,有点点邪恶。。。男孩子们也每天都用各种东西搅拌自己的头发,发型很酷,风雨都吹打不乱。。。

     

    总之,一切都很美好就是了。

    ******************************** 

     

        写不下去了,有些时候回忆一旦成为文字,脑袋里原先的图景反而变得模糊起来了。神说:不要怀有太多的愿望,你越想留住它,它越是奔走离开你。真的不知道要怎么办才好了~~

    something about Sam and WQ

       

        醒来时天还在下着雨,闹铃还没有响过,嗓子有点疼,我挣扎了一下,睁开眼睛,站起来的时候,头有点发昏。上海的夏天一直是如此的,让人无法在一日之始有什么好心情,今天的任务仍然是图书馆里战红宝。离九点还早,我洗了个澡,头发好一顿擦才不再滴水了。

        网上Sam开始说话,他昨晚没有关机,小绿人一直是绿色的,匆匆告诉我说要去修手机,然后再见。。。我有点发怔,回过神来,这就是那个昨夜隐约向我求婚的韩国男人么?28岁了,4年在加拿大读书,2年当兵,女朋友爱着自己的好朋友,却决绝的说要在2年内结婚的男人么?看他说他自己的故事,说他曾经是怎样的爱她,如今却要渐渐冷却了,怎么觉得这好像和我们中的谁有着惊人的相似?爱大概从来都是自私,好象篝火,烧的再旺,没人添柴,也是会冷掉的,熄灭了,只留余烬。他已经28岁了,想有一个爱他的妻子和一个温暖的家的年龄,但是多年前的事还是不能当作没有发生过,这究竟算谁的错?!

        我把视频打开了,(中国和韩国,图像竟然还是动态的!不容易。。。)对着他微笑,告诉他,“if I am a Korean girlI will accept your proposalbut I am not…”我该怎么解释呢?生活中的假设好多,爱情故事中的假设好多,“如果他爱我。。。”,“如果我那时没有离开。。。”,这些“如果”永不可能实现,所以省略号所代表的故事也永不可能发生。单恋也好,苦情也罢,都是那一朵没有适时适地绽放的花而已。

       

     

        比起big Sam, WQ是个离现实更切近的男孩,中国上海人,离家4,在韩国大丘读微电子,宽大的烟灰色上衣,头发温顺的盖着前额。他给韩国人当中文翻译,跟我,却多是在闲聊。在GOLORY CONDO的门厅里,一人捧着一罐子水,支支吾吾不知道什么内容。他看人的眼光是很澄澈的,有些置身事外,笑一下,又有点温暖,lukewarm,我刚学的G,似乎很贴切了,仔细观察了,他不是针对我的,对谁他都这样。以前总是觉得,看世界要无可奈何一点,自己比较不会被纠缠进去;现在看来,太无可奈何了也不好,会孤独,笑一下,走开了,一点留恋都没有,怎么是好???

        他说他有女朋友,3年前了,离家太远,时间又太长,就分了,现在就一个人想,“我要是有个女朋友就好了”,“就好了~”说这三个字,若是在冬天,是可以在唇边呵出一朵花儿来的,然后他就又转身走了,他就是不知回头,很自然的很聪明的逃避着这个动作。

            StarbucksLatte兀自香浓着,只是那只盛它的白瓷杯子一直都没变过,他倔倔的说:“你很了解我的”,眼睛一闪一闪的。。。我就没有回绝,也许吧,一个一直执迷于回顾的人最知道那个离去背影的心情。。。

     

        不知道你们会不会看到,不知道你们能不能看懂,之所以题目叫something,其实,写的时候,就没指望能让人懂了...

    7/23/2006

    don't say "goodbye" ,say "see you later"

    it’s hard to say goodbye .
    ok ~please tell me "see you later"
    it's even harder to admit that we will never meet each other in this big world,either it possible for us to hug and kiss.
    ok~you said,please don't cry ,be a good girl and strong enough to face the reality of the life----the most beautiful time always passed as it flys; the happiness are always the one that will never happenes again.
     
    you  finally cryed and said to me:some memories are sweeter than love~~
     please remember me,my love~~
    and we will be together no matter how much distance we are apart and how much time it takes between  us ~~